Well, my son has decided to identify as straight, at least for now! That doesn’t mean things have been okay or even good lately. The bully has been allowed back into school even though he has missed last 6 weeks of school 2 years in a row now. He is still in my son’s grade. We have done a comprehensive job of letting the principals, counselors, community safety officer, and security know that this boy is not to be near my son at any time…oh but wait, you do not know why we have to keep insisting on specific arrangements. If you have read older posts, you know that my son tried to commit suicide for several reasons last year. This summer, as we switched from private insurance to Medicaid, my son’s antidepressant lapsed. We had been to the therapist earlier this one day in July and had finally gotten a refill for him. We had not been home from the appointment for more than an hour or so when he came out of the bathroom and went out and sat on the couch. From my bedroom I heard him say something to his dad and his dad reply in a low, concerned voice. Immediately concerned and curious, I went out to find out what was happening. My husband told me our son had taken 7 pills of his antidepressant. Our son was half lying on the couch, shaking and mumbling. We called Poison Control and were instructed to call an ambulance or drive him to the hospital immediately. We drove him to ER and the place was packed. We have 4 ERs in town and the one we arrived at was the only one still accepting patients! The others had so many people coming in, they had run out of beds. We thought it would not matter because our son was a minor and so would be treated in the Pediatric ER, but we were told they did not have a doctor for the pediatric emergency room and so it was closed. We had to sit in the ER waiting area with our son, shaking and trembling, on the verge of possibly having a seizure from the overdose. It was so full there, people who had already had xrays were made to sit in the waiting room rather than their own exam room because they were needed to examine others coming in with emergency situations. After vitals were taken, we had to return to the waiting room, as well. Finally, after an hour or more I could not take the strain and just covered my face and pretended I was alone so I could cry.
It seemed to take eons, but hours later we were in a room in the Pediatric intensive care unit, where we spent the next several days waiting for all the medication to clear his body.
It has taken me this long to write about it because, oObviously, it was traumatic for our entire family; me especially. My son made this impulsive decision, which he said he regretted immediately, on the anniversary of my brother’s death. He was 9 years older than me when he was killed in a car crash. I was in third grade. Now, to help you understand how deeply my brother’s death effected me, I have a memorial tattoo on my back that is about 12″ square. None of my sisters have any type of tattoo about my brother. My brother was my hero, and he disappeared in a split second in the middle of a long, summer night decades ago.
I have hit some very obvious stages of grief in the past 6 weeks. I still cry almost daily, worrying that he is hurting himself every second he’s out of my sight. If I’m not crying, I’m steaming mad. He did this pretty much in FRONT of us. The other attempts we only found out about weeks later, this one was right in our faces. That is where I am at emotionally, I am hoping that I will move past it soon, so I am emotionally available for my son, but also ready if another attempt occurs.
Posted by MyOnlySon
My Only Son 
This is such a hard subject to approach and you are so brave for talking about it in the first place.
I personally suffer from mild depression & social anxiety and my mother has suffered from bipolar since I was a small child. Therefore I have first hand experience of being the family member supporting a loved one with a mental illness, and suffering from one myself. I have never had any urge to take my own life, but my mother has & first thing you need to understand is thinking about it and doing it are two completely different things. My mum collected pills for months planning to go for a drive and take them all she confessed to her psychrist but they told her that if she really deeply wanted to kill herself she would of and she would of done it right. Your son, reading some of your other posts is confused and feels alone and like he had no other escape or option. Stay strong and talk to him, being a teen never mind a teen that is bullied and suffers from ADHD is hard and some times you have moments of weakness when your not thinking clearly. I would suggest allowing him to go to therpy sessions, its great to have a supportive family you can talk to but then again from personal experience its amazing to talk to someone you know is not going to judge you and is a complete stranger with no view and is there to just listen and when you leave the room you know they cant tell another family member or friend. its a great release for me. I wish you and your family the best! your doing the best you can and remember it affects you just as much as it effects him so be sure to talk about it and not to hold things in otherwise you may cause yourself to fall ill!
We see a therapist and a psychiatrist. Almost a year now. We have never been about shy about asking for help when a major life event upsets my son’s equilibrium. I have suffered from depression since he was a baby, and I have been suicidal on several occasions. It’s very hard to talk to anyone about what we are dealing with because so few people have experienced the suicide attempts and severe depression of one of their children. The most common response I get is, “I can’t imagine having to deal with that.” I can’t either but I don’t have a choice. Luckily our son has some pretty awesome adults in his life that are able to talk to him on his level (IQ of +160) and help him see things as most of the rest of the world does. My son just thinks sooooo differently than most teens that teenage strategies don’t always work.